What is love? (Part 2)

6 Nov

We left the story (for those of you who are new to Oi! You Blog Head)at the point of a young man on the cusp of manhood, I had the hand of my then partner and she had just said the three dreaded, the three most consequential but beautiful words that anyone hopes are said in a relationship. She said and I quote “I love you”. Reading the comments I got to the last post it is clear that everyone seems to be a big fan of Love.

I, for one am a huge fan of love. You get to do all those sweet (gay), emotional (gay), tender (gay) things that you can’t do with anyone else. But on a serious note it is the most fun in the world getting to know someone that wants to get to know you just as much. But, me I am a very judgment person and it’s quite difficult when you feel like everything is a chore. Seeing her…. chore, remembering her birthday ….chore, pretending you like her mother (who, on that note didn’t like me all that much either. Like this one time she made chili con carne and she then offered to me. I was like (in my head of course) “I don’t really like chili con carne” but I took it like a man. I mean the amount of the stuff I had to eat was unbearable but was she happy noooooooooooo. “would you like seconds “ I’d hear her cry. And I can tell you that with every fucking forkful of the food stuff only the devil himself could enjoy, I died a little inside) chore. Now everyone is thinking but how was it in between the sheets. Well I’ll tell you.

I, for want of a better phrase, am quite the dab hand (very appropriate) in the bedroom. No I’m not saying that I have had more girls than you’ve had hot dinners (I mean who says that in the world . A prick that’s who: see our hilarious post on Idiots for further details (A MUST READ)). I think it is, if anything, just polite to try and give your partner a “orgasm” because you don’t want her marking you down on the post intercourse questionnaire or PIQ for those who have taken part (please note that you may not all have one, but seriously there is nothing better than reading a comment that says and again I quote “Very good effort, tenacious attitude to piloting me to the heights of sexual fulfillment“. And you can always be sure that I have a can do attitude to servicing the ladies. See “doing” (as the kids say nowadays) a girls is a lot like customer service, and I have been working in customer service for about 6 years now. Now if this has taught me anything, it’s taught me that you must be proactive. When a prospective customer comes into the shop (or girl into your bed) you must make sure they are ok. “Good morning sir, can I help you today” or with the ladies “hey you, cheeky” and nudge with the elbow. JOB DONE. But for more Edesque sexual tips there will be more in future posts.

But back to the love. As we sat down and looked into each other’s eyes I realized something very real was brewing inside of me. Could I see myself spend the rest of my playa days with this one girl. Well the answer was no. I don’t know what love is but I don’t love her. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her, I don’t want to be in the delivering room where she is giving birth to our hermaphrodite baby and having to decide whether we are going to raise her as a boy or a girl and I definitely don’t want to be there were SHE serves ME the divorce papers. Can you believe the cheek of it, I didn’t even love her. But that’s beside the point. Looking back made me realize that maybe I did love her, not in a GAY way. I had the most fun in the world with her. Girls at the best of times are alright and if you can have fun (and fingers) with the few of them that are not a NIGHTMARE that for me is love.

Love about being totally unselfish. I believe a little selfishness destroys any chance for love.

So what do you guys think love is. Is it as simple as I make out (probably not) but hey who cares. Hope you’ve had fun sharing my experiences and we are all about truth at Oi! You Blog Head. Leave a comment and we’ll be your biggest fans.

Loves You!

Oi! You Blog Head

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3 Responses to “What is love? (Part 2)”

  1. Grand Puuba November 6, 2009 at 11:31 pm #

    I love ‘love’ (if that’s even possible!). When you love someone, every time you’re with them you don’t want them to go.

    You would die for them happily and it feels so good!

    It’s true that for the guys love is a bit gay but that’s what love requires – compromise, sacrifice and willingness to ‘share feelings and thoughts’ (even though every 6 seconds for guys our thoughts are about sex, science suggests, and 80% of the time we’re not thinking a damn thing!)

    Sorry let me just say:
    LADIES, STOP ASKING GUYS ‘WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?’ BECAUSE, LIKE I JUST SAID, MEN HAVE THE AMAZING ABILITY OF KEEPING THEIR MINDS, ENTIRELY AND UNFALTERINGLY VACANT.

    But back to love, I don’t know about anyone else but I use the word love a lot in my everyday life. I just seem to have love for my friends, my workmates (who also fall into the ‘friends’ category), and, of course, my family.

    So I’m with ‘love’ all the way!

  2. Shree Deb November 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm #

    Am I reading an Ed Bryne quote in the comment above???

    I must say, the blog is starting lean into the “gay blogs” catorgary. Its absolutely facinating to learn you are a stud in the trouser department, I truly would like to learn more, truly – preferably in some sort of video medium.

    Anyway, I think the cart needs to be pulled back with some more “ha! that is quite an amusingly witty point!” style topics like the infamous “Bovril” and “Turn sand to cocaine” remarks in previous posts.

  3. Anonymous November 12, 2009 at 11:06 am #

    Highlights of the blog:

    “Girls at the best of times are alright and if you can have fun (and fingers)…that for me is love.”

    Are you quoting Byron here or William Blake? Because that is some beautiful poetic sentiment.

    “See “doing” … a girl is a lot like customer service”

    How many times has this ridiculous attitude got you into trouble at work?

    I also look forward to more “Edesque” sex tips in future blogs. Perhaps a separate blog or even sex-manual could be in the offing. ‘Giving Ed’ would be my suggestion for a title.

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